It Is Well

Processed with VSCO with m5 presetThis time of year, so many people obsess over changing their lives by
changing anything and everything they possibly can, mainly on the outside than on the inside. Ever notice that?? Makes me wonder how many people scoff at those who choose to focus inward with their energies. I’ll admit it, yall.  Years past, even this most recent one prior, when I heard the term “personal development” or “self help books” I thought HA no thanks, not me. I’m just fine. When in reality, I was pushing away the very thing I needed to focus on most: my inner health. Lord knows I am testament to the notion that the brain can very well control the physical self and manifest stress into symptoms.
So why, oh why, did I reject the thought of focusing on improving my brain, my mind, my thoughts? Well, I think the answer lies in the age old fact that humans love misery and would rather wallow in it than rise up like a phoenix. And I have no problem admitting that
self-sabotage is a forte of mine, but this year especially I am more determined than ever to lay that dragon to bed. I used to be obsessed with WHAT IF or IF ONLY or OKAY, TOMORROW. Those were my best excuses told to myself countless times and I ended up convincing myself everyone was out to get me and anything positive was sure to be followed by overwhelming negative. I wasn’t a very happy person. And then I started reminding myself of what made me truly happy. ME time
made me happy. Being by myself made me happy. And reading a book was one of those ways I could escape from the turmoil I had within last year and the year prior. So what did I do around this time last year? I started bringing books with me on my walks with Elisabeth (yes, sometimes I was that crazy lady who walked with her child in “cold
temperatures”) and started escaping into books that actually taught me
more than I was willing to read about myself. It was like these authors had reality hidden cameras in my life and wrote chapters in the wee hours of sleep I ever got as a mom back then. I just couldn’t believe how much these self-improvement books actually were helping me BE KIND TO MYSELF. To start telling myself positive affirmations
instead of those crippling anxiety ridden thought processes I was so
accustomed to practicing. It has taken me an entire year of stepping out of my comfort zones over and over again, even buying a kit of plant juice aka essential oils and joining an MLM (look up pyramid scheme on YouTube and getcha some laughs today), until I can honestly say now after nearly 365 days of striving to focus on my inner health
versus the outer image, I can say it is well with my soul. And reading this passage from my beloved current reading of Anxious for Nothing by
Max Lucado, wasn’t just a coincidence the other day, it was a Godcidence. Enjoy how God speaks to us through literature & how He validated my journey thus far:
“Horatio Spafford wrote the lyrics, never imagining they would become
the words to one of the world’s best loved hymns. Spafford was a
prosperous lawyer and Presbyterian Church elder. In 1871 he and his
wife, Anna, suffered tragic losses in the Chicago fire. In November of
1873, Anna and their children set sail for Europe with a group of
friends. Horatio stayed home to take care of some business. On
December 2 he received a telegram from his wife that began ‘Saved
alone. What shall I do?’ He soon learned that the ship had collided
with a British vessel and had sunk. Their four daughters drowned and
Anna survived. He left for England to bring Anna back home. En route,
while sailing on the ship, he wrote the lyrics to a song that would
become an anthem to the providence of God. He and Anna eventually
moved to Jerusalem to form a Christian society designed to minister to
the needs of all people. In time the group expanded and moved into a
large house outside the city walls. The house became a hostel, then a
hotel. It still stands, and it still serves as the display location
for these words written by a grief-stricken man on a storm-tossed sea.
. .’It is Well with My Soul’”

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